April 2011

So -
it's been a while since i've put fingers to keyboard, for that i apologize. I actually think about this blog almost everyday, always contemplating what i'll post for you, i just never get around to actually writing anything. that doesn't mean mommy doesn't love you- it's just that i'm a little lazy.

in about two weeks you will be two months shy from your second birthday! i can't believe it!!! you are getting so big, so pretty so quickly. your personality is definitely coming through now. you are pretty stubborn, and can communicate so wonderfully! you can tell us when it's time for you to eat, "i hungee!", and "i thurstee", you can tell us that you want "milk" "awaa" or "soda" (which you say pretty dang clearly, actually) (also- you're not really supposed to drink soda, but dad gives it to you anyway) and you've recently started tell us that you "don't want that!" or "i like that!". it's pretty cute. I've taught you to pray, with your hands together, head bowed with an "AMEN" at the end, and of course your dad taught you how to do the "sign of the cross". :)  I'm protestant, he's catholic, go figure.

each night around 8-ish, we give you a bath (every other night) then dry your hair, and go to moms bed for a story. we're reading Aesop's Fables and Angelina Ballerina, which you call "Rina!". we've taught you how to say i love you ("i luv oo") and when we sing the skina-ma-rink song, you'll sing along with the i love yous. :)

you always fall asleep after three stories

Rina! 

you are so sweet, and so much fun to play with. you are also very determined, and when you want something, you definitely don't have patience for waiting for it, or understanding that it sometimes simply, can't be had. when i call you, you never come the first, second, third or fourth time. Like when i say "no" to something or "stop" you only heed when the threat of spanking or time out are introduced. This is a little unfortunately, and a tad disappointing because i feel like i'm supporting a negative environment. we're getting through, though- and patience will come in time from you. my patience is getting longer, and every week it becomes easier to see things in perspective. 

The other day, we were in the car, driving to pick up your grandpa from work, and the whole way there i was singing Ray Charles' ""i've gotta women". as soon as i started you would yell "Stop That!!" and would make eye contact with me in the rear-view mirror and we would both laugh. Hard. we were having an awesome time playing, and i couldn't help but think of my own mom. we would do something similar, where she would torture us with something (usually zydeco, or NPR) and we would scream for her to "Stop It" or "Change it!". this memory came back to me fondly, and when we picked up grandpa, i told him the game we were playing- he mentioned riding in the car with my mom when we were younger, too. wasn't just me. 

So far this year has been a good one- you had a well baby check on Feb 2nd. you weighed 28.9 lbs, and were 34.8 inches long. that's 2 feet 9inches. :) Erin told me that you are supposed to take the height of children at age two, and double it. This is the height that you'll be when your an adult. if that's true- and you don't grow much between then and your second birthday, you be 5 feet 8 inches tall. i think that sounds about right. Kyrsten turned two (i can't believe it) and your new baby cousin Trenton was born on daddy's birthday!! 

6 lbs 14 oz. 

He is so amazing! he looks a lot like Kyrsten when she was born. you went with Grandpa and i to the hospital to visit Aunt Erin and Uncle Chris. you were...okay. It was a little late, and you were getting cranky.

Born March 11th 2011 @ 3:15pm 

Trenton Christopher Masterson

So Cute. you were sick a couple of day's in February with an ear infection, and again in March (another ear infection). we couldn't really hang out and see the new baby, because we didn't want to get anyone else sick. 

pretty girl

you and daddy, back yard

kisses!

sammy with a puppy that grandma ended up taking home

you and friends at daycare 

right before school

Playing with Grandpa's Vietnam Vet hat

hello!

you are just so pretty when you smile!

this picture makes me happy

front porch with daddy

Daycare

silver processed picture

you and daddy, at home

I stayed home with you on my birthday this year, and we had a lot of fun playing. i took the next friday off, as well- after my trip from las vegas. guess what? this friday is battle of the flowers, so daddy's staying home with you! and NEXT friday, your school is closed, so we're going to have to figure out what to do with you then too! 

Saturday, we're supposed to go downtown with your dad's godparents to watch the night parade. it's fiesta! the following weekend is easter weekend, and there are a lot of things planned! saturday i invited the grandmas to come by and dye/decorate easter eggs, sunday we're supposed to go up to have an easter egg hunt at aunt erin's and uncle chris' church. i can't wait for this one, because we get to see chris, erin, kyrsten and trenton! yippee! 

anway- i love you very much, and will try to post more often, i promise. 

love you! 

Mama

February 2010

Dear Samantha:
Hello my pretty! Today is February 8th, 2010. You are about 7 1/2 months old. It just started pouring outside, and it's been raining on and off for a week now. Saturday was beautiful, however and we spent the day cleaning up the house. i strapped you to my back like a papoose, and you loved it! Every now and then you would put your little head down on my back, and it felt like you were saying "i love you" even though it probably just meant that you were tired. i would run around, sweep the house then run to the bedroom so we could see each other in the mirror, laugh, smile, then run around and mop the floors. This went on for HOURS! Of course we took a couple of breaks for your naps (2) and lunch/snack. To date you are eating cereal, green beans, carrots, peas, sweet potatoes, squash and little puff banana/apple thingies. So far, I've eaten everything you have (with the exception of breast milk, because that's kind of groady) and you are growing like a weed! Monday and Tuesdays your grandma and grandpa Salazar takes you in the morning, and i meet them after work at the Taco Cabana on the Theo/Malone exit off of 35 to pick you up. Kid Swap! Wednesday thru Friday i take you to the Lincoln Heights Methodist church day care, and you love it. You always smile and laugh when you see the people there, and you love to watch the other babies crawl around.    
     The rodeo is in town! i wanted to take you there to your first Rodeo, but your grandparent think they are your parents and will probably take you instead. That's another story, of course. i love them very much, and they certainly do help us out in a lot of different ways, but there really is a high price tag sometimes, that has to be paid. When you were really little, after i had to go back to work, we had your dad's cousin Ellie take care of you. It was nice to have you so close, i was still breastfeeding you pretty regularly, and i would come home on my lunch break to feed you. It was one of the best parts of my day! there were some problems with that arrangement, unfortunately it's hard to have someone in your home, as i'm sure it's hard to be in someone else house taking care of their little girl. Often we would come home and find other people/family members in the house or had just been there, or our bed was slept in, or our shower was being used. It was kind of a relief when we put you in day care, as it was a far less complicated relationship. At your last appointment you weigh 20 lbs!! we had to take you to the doctor one morning a few weeks ago for an urgent check up. You had a major fever (at 104.5) and your cheeks were so red it was heartbreaking. You vomited on me and we gave you Tylenol until we could get you to the doctor's office. Turns out you had a pretty bad ear infection. The doctor took a look in your ear, and said it was as red as a fire truck! he prescribed antibiotics that we were to shoot into the back of your throat with a needless syringe, twice a day for 10 days. Poor thing. You did really well, however. You only cried a little bit, and it was clear you didn't feel good, but you didn't really have a "melt down" or anything like what you hear from other parents. You sure are a tough little girl! They told us that at the appointment, and whenever you have to get your shots, you never cry TOO much. You are so strong and healthy that it's incredible! We are so blessed!
     As of today, you can definitely sit up by yourself, and scoot around on your butt to get to things. you don't really crawl yet, but you can lift up on all fours, and wiggle back and forth.  One of my co-workers gave us a whole bunch of Disney Cartoons (VHS) and i used to be able to sit you on the bed, bolstered with pillows all around, with all of your toys laid out before you, and pop in one of those "princess movies' while i took a shower and got dressed in the morning.  This would keep you occupied until i got out, and then i would dress you. The other morning, i got out of the shower and went to the bedroom and looked at the spot wher you had been. I saw all of your toys, but no baby!! i looked down next to the bed ON THE FLOOR, and THERE YOU WERE! Playing with my suitcase, just as happy as can be. i couldn't believe it. time slowed down while my eyes scanned the bed, then found you. I instantly picked you up and hugged you. I felt terrible and wondered if you had cried when i was in the shower. But i was also bemused, because you looked so happy down there!  :( Oy Vey! looks like i can't do that anymore! Now we have your "fun chair" to stick you in if you wake up in the morning before i get in the shower. you are still sleeping with us in bed at night, even though you take your naps in your crib. I desperately want to get you in your own room at night, but your father is having a hard time with it, and sleeps better when your in my arms at night. You're just so little!  my fear is that you will be 3 years old and still sleeping with mommy and daddy.
     Samantha, i have to tell you how much i love you and how much my day lights up when you smile. I really thought that those stories people tell about how they sappily felt when their kids smiled at them was crap, but it really brighten the whole day. I can't wait to get you to smile, or laugh and it has turned into an addiction! You are such a good, happy baby! you rarely have fits, or cry too much, or have the dreaded melt downs. i can pretty much take you anywhere and if you are fed, clean and dry you are perfectly content to sit and watch people, or play happily with whatever is on the table in front of you. I am so proud to have you with me.  I love you so much!
     Right now you are with your grandparents, and your dad is sick at home. He works so hard for the both of us, he deserves a break every now and then. where would we be if we didn't have him! lonely and sad, that's where! He loves you so much that words can't describe it. He talks to you, and sings, and plays with you. He changes your diaper without complaint, and usually is the one that makes you a bottle. I simply cannot believe that you are almost eight months old! Your cousin Kyrsten is having her 1st birthday party in just a couple of weeks, and you are right behind her! where has the time gone?
      It's almost 5 o'clock which means, it's almost time to go pick you up at the Taco Cabana and i'm having a hard time waiting! i always miss you most on Mondays, since i spend so much time with you on the weekends. Monday's are always hard.
     I love you so much, and you are so beautiful, that i cannot wait to kiss your cheeks and have you home. See you soon, my little chickadee!

Love,
Mom.

Cold January-6 months, week two.

Samantha:
Man it is really cold outside! it's 36 degrees and WINDY. i had to bundle you up this morning, and it only got colder!

There have been some changes in our lives! We had our first thanksgiving with you, as well as our first Christmas and New Years. Your dad got you your bouncy play chair as your big present this year, and you got a lot of wonderful, beautiful things from people. Grandpa Masterson got you some clothes and books, Grandma Masterson got you your own little baby head! this was subject to much discussion! she made them herself, and it was a very nice gesture, just...weird! :) we all had a good laugh over them. She made one for Kyrsten, too. Grandma & Grandpa Salazar gave you a little wooden bike from the pottery barn. It's so pretty! along with a tea set, and a pink and silver cup. (i know, it's weird, there's is only one and i don't know what you do with just that one). Uncle Chris and Aunt Erin got you your little duck/platypus pillow.

This year for Christmas, i think we're going to travel around on Christmas Eve, and then stay home, just the three of us, on Christmas day. you'll already be a year and half old then!

Yesterday we enrolled you in your first day of day care. We put you in the Los Angeles Heights Methodist day care, around the corner from the house on Lee Hall. The first day was pretty sad. I left and cried all the way to work, your dad thought about you all day and cried after he got you home. it's sad to leave your kids with strangers. you just looked so little sitting there on the carpet playing with toys. :( i just imagined you red faced and crying for me, and it breaks my heart that i can't be with you during the day. we have to be really tough! it's definitely not an easy choice, and it involves a lot of sacrifice, but it is what's best for right now.

you are growing so much! at your last doctor's appointment with Dr. Benbow,  you weighed 19 1/2 lbs, and were about 27 inches tall! he said you looked better than great, and you're doing very well.

we started you on cereal and foods!!! i was so excited to give you your first taste of vegetables i could hardly contain my self! i started with Carrots, and then moved to peas. you pretty much love them both. I think you like the idea of eating. It's fun! i'm still breast feeding, and we're still giving you formula. no wonder your growing like a weed! you're my little fat baby and i love you so much! i can see changes in you, however. Your getting longer and leaner, and your able to sit up and play with your toys! your developing awesomely, and i'm so proud of you. You are also talking/babbling and screaming more. it's so cute! Last night i just laid in bed, and just watched you play until i fell asleep. Then you shouted at me to wake up! :)  we're still sleeping together because it's been so cold outside, and we don't have central air and heat. All three of us in bed.

i'm starting to mourn the end of your infancy already, and it makes me sad. but it means that your growing and learning, and becoming a more active participant in life, and that exciting trade off is worth it.  my favorite time is still in the morning when it's just the two of us snuggled in bed together. sometimes i'll wake up after you, and i'll look down to see if your awake and your already looking at me! it makes me laugh!
:)

You're such a beautiful girl. we'll get through this beginning states of day care, and it'll be a second home for you, and you will learn and flourish and grow even more there. i have a good feeling about it.

now if we can get your dad more on board, we'll be in business!

Till next time!
I love you!

Your mom.

5 months already?!

Samantha:

We saw your 5 month mark come and go! You will be six months already in a few weeks! I can't express into words how much your dad and i absolutely adore you!

Before I forget: In october, mom and i took you to Medina, where we got your picture taken with a bunch of pumpkins, went to the "apple store", and then drove around (for a day trip). Mom wanted me to remember to put down somewhere this image; After we were done taking your pictures all over the place you clutched the little doll I got you fiercely, and wouldn't let it go with your pacifier stuck tightly in your mouth. She thought it was the cutest thing. You definitely signaled that you were done with everything we had put you through (long drive, pictures with every type of pumpkin imaginable, scarecrows, the apple store)! This trip is where i got that little towel that says 'home is where your mom is' (which i thought was HILARIOUS!). Anyway, i didn't want to forget that.

back to how much we love you!

I taught you how to blow raspberries the other day and you've been doing it ever since. I was so excited about it, i posted it on my Facebook status. already you are starting to sit up for longer periods by yourself without falling over! you probably weigh about 20 lbs (or more). you are just growing and growing! i'm still nursing (which is incredible i've been able to stick with it) and i'm proud that i have!

i always think back to when you were first born, because i never want to forget it! so much time has past since we were in the hospital together, that it seems like a lifetime ago. my thoughts always drift back to having you in your little plastic hospital bed, with me in my hospital bed and your dad in the sling-y chair next to us all sleeping together. i didn't want to hold you too much, because all my friends are nurses, and they all told me the one thing they hated was when new moms held their babies so much that they would cry when they weren't with them. We didn't want to "spoil" you! Geez Louise! i wish i had held you more, and never let go of you!

Then after TWO DAYS we brought you home!

The hospital stay was terrible, and we were going crazy being there. when i got home, your dad's mom had cleaned our entire house, gave us a new comforter for our bed, and there were a TON of people around for weeks afterwards. argh. i have mixed feelings about it, but suffice it to say, i was so grateful that we came home to an utterly clean home and we were shown so much love and given so much help, that the other stuff didn't matter. the latter stuff is what is important.

The other thing i need to get over is the feelings i have concerning your birth. the end result is that you are here, i am here, everyone is healthy and all are together and happy. nothing else should matter in light of these things.

last year (2008) the day after thanksgiving, we figured out i was pregnant. then this year (2009) we celebrated our first thanksgiving with our little 5 month old! What an incredible difference a year makes! you have enriched our lives, and filled it with so many giggles, laughs, cries, screams and smiles. I'm so glad you are here.

I'll have to admit the first few months were pretty hard on both your dad and I, (and i'm sure you too!) while we were trying to figure out what to do with you! i think it got easier for me when i went back to work. It gave me a better perspective on things, for some reason. i guess when your shut in with someone your world becomes very small and you start to feel like there is no beginning and no ending. that the hard times will last forever, and there is nothing you can do about it. Once i had to go back to work, it was very bitter sweet for me. Bitter because i had to leave you with other people and i couldn't be with you and sweet because i was able to collect my sanity again, step away and deal before coming home again. i hate having to leave you as it is, and if i could just work from home, i wish i could.

Your Dad. Let me tell you Samantha- if i were having to raise you and take care of you by myself, i don't really think i could. I think that God put your dad in our path just so that he would be the one i marry and be your dad. It seems like i couldn't have picked another better, option (if i had a choice!) than your dad as a husband or father of my kids! he is such a good man, it's unbelievable! i wish you could remember how well he takes care of you, or how hard he works for the both of us! he constantly has us on his mind and it shows in all of his actions. I'm sure you'll figure out how awesome he is when you get older, but suffice it to say we are really blessed to have him in our lives, you and me! (and blessed also with his unimaginable amount of patience!)

Once last thing, i want to share this with you before i forget. (The whole purpose of this blog is to catalog my thoughts, after all.) Sunday morning, we were all lying in bed together (it was too cold to let you sleep by yourself) and i had turned you around after you woke up to face away from me while i held you. You were talking to yourself (gibberish) softly and blowing raspberries Loudly and wetly, and i was tired of wiping my face! you got so loud that it woke up your dad, and he asked if i was the one making all that noise. LOL. What a sweet memory, i hope i never forget it! You are so little and so content sometimes to entertain yourself. I keep finding myself just watching or studying you. i love you SO much and hope that we are together for a very, very long time. here's to another month!

I'll probably write something else in a couple of weeks. I love you!

Your mom,

Sarah

My Little four month old!

Hello Samantha!

My, you are growing into a beautiful child! Last Friday, October 30th was your 4 month anniversary of your birth day. We went to the doctor's office, and he said you were thriving wonderfully, and doing well!

You weighed: 17 pounds,

You were: 26 1/2 inches long,

and your head circumference was: 16.50 inches around.

This placed you in the 95 % for height and weight, and 75 % for Head Circum.!

at 2 months you weighed 13.63 pounds,

you were 24 inches long

and had a head Cir. of 15.75.

yes ma'am you are a-growing!!!

As a matter of fact, i think i'll keep this blog around so that i can write to you from time to time, just to tell you how proud of you i am. :) and to tell you, of course how pretty you are! (and how much i love you, i guess!)

Samantha, you are our first child.

I say that both because i'm marveling at that fact, and because we do plan on you having some siblings in the future. (If it were up to me there would be 2 more, but i think your dad is gonna win that fight, for just one more. :( but that's ok!)

To say that we were in a state of shock when we brought you home was a little bit of an understatement! Your dad and i didn't know what to do with each other much less, with you!! i had a tough time getting you into the world. my blood pressure was high, so they made us come a couple of weeks early to the hospital to deliver you early. That's another story. :/ once we got home, i stayed home with you for several weeks. we were pretty much inseparable! i took a lot of pictures of you, marveled at you, watched you and generally got to know you! you weren't aware of too many things then, but you knew how to scream! sometimes you still scream LOUD when you are hungry. :) I'm not talking about crying loudly, i'm talking about a shrill piercing, horror movie worthy kill-scream. You definitely know what you want when you want it!!

i'm still breastfeeding you, which is a miracle because i didn't know how long i would last. i figured i would have given up already!! I'm proud that I've gone this long, and feel like i'm giving you something good. you haven't had any ear infections yet, and there hasn't been any digestion issues. Hopefully your good health will continue for as long as possible! i simply thank god at how healthy you are! when you think about all the different things that can go utterly wrong when you are conceiving a child, and then all the things that can happen through delivery and infant-hood, it's incredible that you are here and that you are perfect!

At this stage in your life, you can stand when we are holding you, only slightly, and can do those little baby mini-push ups. It's cute when we put you in the cradle on your stomach at night, and you push up with your arms and start looking all over the room. your such a curious little thing! Sometime i catch you just listening. it's pretty neat. I feel like i'm watching you grow!

i have several favorite times of the day right now, mostly they revolve around feeding you. :) Whenever i come home from work i love to grab you and hug you and kiss you all over your chubby little cheeks. i miss you all the time, and can't wait to get home to you. Mornings have to be my favorite of all the other favorite times of the day, though.

It's definitely a different thing being a mom. i'm so knew at this, i don't really feel like a mom yet. I feel like a young woman, pretending to be an adult who happens to also be married with a baby. I'm almost 30 for crying out loud, you would think i would feel like an adult already, but i don't. I don't think your dad does either.

When i look back at the pictures of your birth and everything from then on, i just can't believe how much you have changed! it's incredible! you look like an entirely different baby. you were 10 lbs lighter, and 6 1/2 inches shorter then, too, you know.

I have so much to share with you, but this blog is starting to get a little long, and i should wrap this up.

wait until i tell you all about your Dad (how he is right now, compared to how is is when you actually read this) and your family (oy vey, maybe that's not a good idea!).

Anyway, i love you so much! i can't wait to see you in just a little while!! i'm told your asleep right now with your dad. so sweet! i can't wait until i can get home to you!

Your mom,

Sarah