First Day...

Hello little one!!
It has been a while. we've moved- had your brother Robbie, moved again - started building a house...There have been some pretty major changes in our lives, and instead of trying to think of everything that has happened and go over it in excruciating detail, I am going to start putting fingers to keyboard and start a new, and hopefully the gaps will fill themselves in.

Today is Monday, August 25th, 2014. One of the most monumental day's in our lives! Today is your first day of kindergarten! we enrolled you into Dellview Elementary, which is the same school I went to. Your dad and i woke up on time, but a little grumpy with each other. we got Robbie (16 months old) ready and you got dressed, put in your 1st day of school bow (Blue Sparkly one) and all went to the school for your very special day. We walked in together as a family and waited with the pack to sign in, get our visitors badge and walk you to the library. Once we got to the Library,we waited on the carpet with a few other shrimps and you seemed hesitant to let leave. Shy. You wanted me near you, holding hands but you weren't awkward, just a little unsure. i'm proud you weren't scared.

Your dad held on to Robbie for most of the time we were in the library, he really really wanted down so he could mess with all the books. :) Once your teacher arrived, Mrs. Duncan, we all walked as an enormous herd to your classroom. I took you to your seat, gave you hugs and kisses, and your brother too - he said goodbye to you and you said goodbye to him. you didn't cry or get emotional, you didn't ask me to leave or get frustrated with all the kisses and hugs (your dad got in there too), I assumed that you understood the importance of the occasion and acted accordingly, but i supposed you realized there was a lot going on, it would be over soon and maybe a little bit of you needed all the hugs.

Just like other times I've had to take you somewhere and leave you (primarily daycare, or with in-laws), as heart-wrenching as it is, you turn around and leave. No fuss, no emotion, keep it together. Don't think about it- mechanically walk to your automobile and drive away. It's a ritual that helps protect you from grabbing your baby, taking her back and just saying screw it - maybe next year... well as i started this ritual of self preservation, I get to the end of the hall and look over my shoulder for your father and he's... no where! I look father down the hallway where I came, eyes traveling back through the steps and he's at your door way. A big looming figure standing in the way... taking one last glimpse of his kid in a classroom. I wait for him to catch up thinking to myself "what a newbie!". It was a reminder that I've had to do this more than him, but it isn't any easier for either of us.

We were still pretty sore with each other about some imagined happening, so we didn't talk to each other as we made our way to the truck. We sat in silence as we got Robbie situated in his care seat, pulled out of the schools parking lot and made our way down the road. We were in other worlds thoughtful, as we made our way back to our street, and only then he grabbed my hand, relenting first, and we both started sobbing. It was so sad!! I wanted to rush back into the school and go get you! my little tiny girl was in a place that was strange and unfamiliar and wasn't near me. i essentially wanted you to come to work with me on your first day of school. Safe and close. I felt completely irrational- until your dad said, through tears, he felt like he was never going to see you again! At least I wasn't alone. I love him. :)

He had to go to work, and I didn't know what to do with myself, until your grandma Christie called me and asked about getting the baby for the day... oh yeah! So I drove down to Taco Cabana, dropped him off, told her all about the experience and came to work.

I left the office about 2PM to go get you- I wanted to see how the after school program worked, and I couldn't wait to get you. We drove downtown to get your brother and you told me all about your first day! you looked exhausted and sounded so so tired- it was a really big day for you and you exerted all the energy you had in your little body, and fell asleep in the car. When we got home, everyone was emotionally drained- no one had anything left! All four of us went to bed early. 

xo

Sept 2, 2011

There are a lucky 6 people in the entire universe that have had the pleasure of snuggling with you at night. They are: your parents and both grandparents. i feel sorry for my mom most, she doesn't like to be bothered... well- at all really, but mostly when she's trying to go to sleep. I've mentioned in several posts, that this is my favorite time with you- but i can certainly understand how frustrating it can be for other people who are not your parents. i'm laughing just thinking about it!

Each night, we take a bath (as mentioned before), read a story, and you go to sleep in your crib after a couple of night time songs. i usually come to bed anywhere between 11:00pm - 1:00am (along with your dad) and we all sleep peacefully in our respective spots, as it should be. then anywhere around 1am-3am you wake up and want to come into bed with me. i usually don't remember getting up and putting you in bed, i'm still asleep, and it's done automatically now. I don't know how to even break you of this habit, it' so ingrained. You've trained me!

it takes you a while to settle, you usually get back to sleep relatively quickly i assume, but you do this "hand thing" where you want to hold hands but you also want to turned your hands over and over in my hands. (it's hard to explain) and then you forcibly place your foot in my hands, and this goes on for a while. until i can hear my mom and my dad tell you to "knock it off", in my mind. i'm so used to it, it puts me right out, but i can imagine the irritating feelings of people who aren't used to it. And then there's the crawling. All over your body crawling, like you're a puppy trying to find a comfortable spot trying out each side of the bed, with an unfortunately person in the middle. THIS, i believe, is what gets my parents. when you've spent the night with either of them, this is what they complain about the most. this image is what makes me laugh the hardest- because i know at this point, you aren't going to settle down anytime soon, and i can put you back in your crib. when you're at one of their houses, they can't do that. so they're stuck with a wriggling, wormy, sometimes snugly,  hand-hand-foot-hand mess of a night.

Last night. LAST NIGHT, we put you to bed, according to routine, and thought we were home free (sometimes you'll wake up) until about 11:00pm. this is when you came strutting out of the bedroom, hair mussed, eyes wide. Your father and i were completely astounded to see you! you told us (after asking the right questions) that you climbed out of your crib, using the side table and bed as a landing spot and that you didn't cry for very long, before you took your escape into your own capable hands and broke free.

it's definitely time to put you in your own bed, in your own room. Jesus.

had a couple of long nights though- you've been coughing, took you to the docs, they said it was just a cough (?). i did find out that you weigh 32 lbs, however. also- they are weighing you on the big-girl scale now, no more baby scales for you! and you don't have to take off all your clothes. boo hoo!!!


love you-
Mama

I love XKCD.

Those guys never cease to amuse me.

well, it's been 2 years since my initial 1st post, and a lot has changed since then. My husband and i moved into a house (as renters) and i gave away one little kitty, kept one, had a baby (!) and cared a little less about xeroscaping. :)

that baby. Whew! what a handful! boy things sure do change when you have your first child.